Posted on December 31, 2009.
How can I suggest that people dress with a vintage touch to my wedding without making them feel pressured? My fiance and I have decided on a vintage / farm "theme for our upcoming wedding. We've collected vintage pieces for fun centers and lemonade will welcome our guests in Mason jars. My dress is ivory, all lace appointment with timeless elegance and romantic ... and I'll incorporate some type of cage in hand with a veil fabric flower or feather for my hair. (I also plan to make all my ladies honor a feathered hair clip, with a sort of drum-ish style.) My fiance plans to wear a zoot suit with his guy ... maybe even a fedora or something like that.
Anyway, my point is ... How can I suggest a subtle hint for customers to engage with the idea without feeling the need to go over board. Many of our friends and even some of our family will be in this idea ... but I do not want to force it on them all. I'm just saying if you are into it, it might be fun to wear your own band or fedora valve. So how do you suggest this without making people feel obliged, but in a way that will not just ignore it completely, because they assume no one else will wear something like that.
Two ways. The first is that you randomly / informal get the word out to your guests. I mean, if you're inviting to your wedding, you must have a fairly close relationship with them that you, your fiance or parents speak to them with a certain frequency level. So let you know that through word of mouth. You'll see your cousins at your shower, right? Your future MIL talks to his sisters, no?
Then you just spread this vision through sparkling casual conversation while you are talking about some of your plans then. "You know ... I think it would be so cool if our guests dressed in costume 1920s flapper style. And if you happen to mention it in a group environment and getting people to fantasize about various items of clothing in 1920 and participate in a conversation, the idea will spread.
The other way to express the theme is to select wedding invitations that have an art deco style or even a gangster of the 1920s look to it. On the reception card invites, I'd probably say something like
Upon receipt of 1920s-style speakeasy be held at ________.
I would not use because vintage vintage 1970s may lead hippy. So, be more descriptive.
That way you communicate the theme and the time and some people look at this.
Also ... you could buy sequins and feathers tape sewing headbands and maybe even some plastic markers for table favors. You know who is sitting where ... it will not be so difficult to have many felt and banners at each table.
http://www.mikefeinbergcompany.com/blvef ...
Edit: If you just want your theme to be part of their uniform and do not wear dresses with fringes or Zoot suits, then that becomes part of your story sparkling with enthusiasm as you talk to your friends and family. "It would not be so cool if some of these men wore fedoras and women wore these super long necklaces?
tell everyone how cool you think it would be if everyone wore a headband or Fedor flip and mention that it would shock you if everyone showed up wearing it. it would not make them feel obliged to wear one, but it would be too much influence, since it would obviously make you happy and you are the wife, so that does not make you happy?
wedding sites, but a snapshot, are a good way to convey the message.
Word of mouth is even better. As you said, tell them not to go, but if they want, splurge on a cool access.
